whamber:

taking the airship through the drive-thru

loseremo:

zootycoon-archive:

i got these knockoff boots online and instead of the brand name on the tag they have the name of an apparently nonexistent martin scorsese movie??? what the fuck

everythingfox:

5-star masseuse

milfkon:

starting a collection

rutaskadi:

rutaskadi:

one of the worst things about becoming educated on social issues is when people are like ‘you used to have a sense of humor’

no i used to have internalized prejudices which i’ve worked really hard to overcome and i realize now that your jokes are shitty

it has been 10 years since i posted this and people are still reblogging it. i’m sorry to inform y’all that this is so far from the worst that can happen.

the revolution is built on solidarity and action. when we are out on the barricades you can literally call me a faggot idc as long as we’re holding the line together

potato-gay:

pathetic-gamer:

me, an hour ago: “fuck, the stove is on! what do we do?” [immediately does all the wrong things]

PSA: What NOT to do when you smell gas

In this situation, we got home to a smell of gas throughout the house and discovered our gas stove was on without a flame. it was only a tiny stream, and everything turned out fine, but here’s a brief list of everything we did wrong:

NOTE: this is for if you smell significant amounts of gas, not a blanket list for all possible gas situations. (If you aren’t aware, the methane**/natural gas used in houses smells vaguely like sulfer, or rotten eggs - this is an additive, since it has no natural smell. It’s a very recognizable smell, once you’ve smelled it once. It’s not the same smell as gasoline.)

1. If your stove has an electrical/spark ignition, do NOT turn it off.

Spark ignitions often spark when turning on *and* off. Spark + Gas = Boom. Boom is bad. Avoid boom.

Instead, turn off the gas at the source, i.e. the physical valve at the meter. There may be a smaller valve near the stove. If you don’t know where the shutoff is, the fire department will find it.

2. Do NOT turn on (or off) vents or fans.

In fact, don’t flip any electrical switches - that includes lights, plugging in or unplugging appliances, etc. These cause sparks. Spark + Gas = Boom.

Also, don’t start your car. obviously.

3. Do NOT open windows

counterintuitive, I know. This is mostly because you want to prioritize your exit, but it’s also to keep the fumes from spreading outside, where you should be waiting for the ~professionals~ to come handle it.

4. DO take all people and pets outside.

Do this very first!! (one thing we actually did right - go us!)

This is obviously because you don’t want to go boom, but you also don’t want to suffocate. Gas is poison!

NOTE: the gas from your stove is probably methane (natural gas); carbon monoxide is what you get when methane burns, which is why your kitchen needs to be well-ventilated and the stove shouldn’t be left burning for long periods of time, but the natural gas itself is *also* potentially deadly. Carbon monoxide detectors dont detect natural gas, so that’s what the odorous additive is for.

Inhaling natural gas causes nausea, headaches, dizziness, and makes you just generally woozy, and eventually causes you to lose consciousness and potentially suffocate, just like carbon monoxide does. We don’t want that.

5. DO call the fire department/emergency line

They’ll check for other leaks, shut gas off if needed, then test for air quality and eventually clear your house for reentry. It takes like 1-2 hours for the gas to dissipate, generally.

Yay, you survived! Congrats!!

NOTE: if you find the stove has been left on with a flame, or it’s on with no flame but you don’t smell gas, then you should be safe to just open windows and turn on vents and fans to air it out.

idk, this was actually pretty scary, especially when we realized how much of our immediate response was wrong and could have turned a dangerous situation into a real disaster.

tl;dr: If you smell gas when you shouldn’t be smelling gas, just get all the people and animals outside, shut off the gas line, and call the fire department or gas company. don’t fuck around with gas. you’re not overreacting, you’re taking the proper safety measures.

**CORRECTED FROM ORIGINAL VERSION. Original said propane, but it’s very much not propane, it’s methane. too much Hank Hill on the brain, clearly.

secondbeatsongs:

somehow instead of saying “as a treat”, I’ve started using the phrase “for morale”, as if my body is a ship and its crew, and I (the captain) have to keep us in high spirits, lest we suffer a mutiny in the coming days.

and so I will eat this small block of fancy cheese, for morale. I will take a break and drink some tea, for morale. I will pick up that weird bug, for morale.

I’m not sure if it helps, but it does entertain me

sunsetsounds:

really funny that every website is in an arms race to make itself as bad as possible and immediately someone makes a firefox extension to fix it

randomproxy:

weahboo:

Yesterday, I was helping my friends sell art in the park, when a couple of girls came up to us and asked (immediately regretting it) “is this the transfem picnic?……..” to which we got to respond “no this is the transmasc yard sale.” We then proceeded to have 15-20+ beautiful women swarm our stand of 4 creatures. Life is beautiful.

i’m at the transmasc yard sale

i’m at the transfem picnic

i’m at the combination transmasc yard sale transfem picnic

zoobus:

ampervadasz:

For those confused: the player in dark blue was faking out shooting a basket. The defending player in green fell for the fake out and jumped past the player in blue attempting to block the shot. The player in green then landed out of bounds. The player in dark blue then passed him the ball. Out of reflex the player in green caught it. Since that player was out of bounds and now has the ball the ball is handed back over to the dark blue team.